So tonight as I was nursing Drew it suddenly hit me and I started to cry..... he's not going to be a baby forever. He's heading toward toddler hood whether I want him to or not. He's 6 months... such a short time that he has been with us but such a huge impact that he has made and I feel like I am missing it. For the last six months I have prayed so hard for him to sleep through the night. Tonight however it suddenly hit me that I'm not sure I want him to sleep through the night. It is really the only time that it is just him and me. With Hannah I had all day to play and love on her but with Drew the daily tasks and Hannah are in the way of our love fest. Our nursing sessions are not as much of a bonding time between us as they are a battle to make room on my lap for him, Hannah, and the dog. (My lap really isn't THAT big!) It's a battle to keep his attention to focus on eating instead of laughing at his sister and dribbling milk all down his face and onto my leg. And it's a battle to find the time in a crazy and hectic day. Yes, those middle of the night feedings are our special time. The phone isn't ringing, Hannah isn't yelling for my attention, and I have no where else I need to be. It is time for us to snuggle together. For him to hold my fingers while he nurses and smell the sweet smell a baby has. We rock and I pray and the world just seems right. I know I have another 6 months to nurse him (as I choose to stop at a year) but these 6 have gone so quickly. I want to hold on to these days... drag him away from toddlerhood. Yet he seems to be progressing so much more quickly towards it than Hannah did. He's already on all 4's and rocking back and forth. It's just a matter of time before I have a crawler on my hands!
So my baby Drew-Drew I love you and I am more than happy to get up with you at night. There will be years ahead for both of us to sleep. But I embrace this time together as our special time. My date night with my little boy. See ya at 2am bub!
PS- now that I have come to this conclusion he will probably sleep through the night!