Tonight at church we had a Christmas presentation and it was awesome. It talked about how the story of Christmas did not begin in the manger but rather Jesus was with God from the beginning. You know the whole: "In the begining there was the word and the word was God and the word was with God." Such a simple concept that I know that my head has known for a long time but tonight it made me realize how segmented my faith and beliefs are. I mean this is Christmas... it's about the birth of Christ about His begining. What do you mean he was around before? Oh you mean the trinity? Yeah well that is another part of my theology it doesn't go with the whole baby in a manger thing..... we can talk about that another time.... NOT! How simple my human mind is and how compartmentalized my beliefs are. How difficult it is for me to put it all together and see the larger picture!
You see in my head
There was the begining.
There was Adam and Eve.
There was the story of Christmas.
There was the crusifiction.
There was the ressurection.
But they are all separated by the way my mind works. I know they are on the timeline of Jesus's life and ministry but what about the daily life and the daily activities in between. I mean we all know Jesus was born in a manger, but then in my head he is suddenly a young boy and at the temple, then it fast forwards years to his ministry.
What about the years in between? Do you realize the Jesus teethed just like our children? He had to be potty trained? Do you realize that he didn't like certain foods or had certain likes and dislikes? That he had friends as a young boy and probably played in the streets with them. There were probably nights that he didn't want to go to bed? I think it's hard for me to imagine because while I know that the Word became flesh; I am also very aware that He remained without sin. It is sooooo hard for my mind to even fathom a life without sin. Somehow in my compartmentalized mind sin has become so wrapped throughout my everyday activities that I can't imagine those years in between his birth and his ministry (because I can't visualize daily activies free of sin) ..... for goodness sakes I can't even picture what a day without sin in our house would look like (an if I'm real honest it's hard to picture an hour without sin around the Page household).
So as if my brain didn't hurt enough from thinking about this then I started to think of Mary. (Ok so I heard Mary did you know? one too many times this season.) I started to think about how she delt with a child that had no sin. I mean it sounds soooooo good. Especially as I am dealing with a screaming child who refuses to eat, sleep, or do ANYTHING that I ask. I would love a sin free child.... wouldn't I? The gravity of her situation though was so extreme. To have a child who knows EVERYTHING! I mean I have one who thinks she knows everything but to actually have one. To be humbled by a mighty God and put in a place to carry the savior but then to live the ins and outs of his pain. To have your child go missing and not know where they were..... to have a child go against the grain and be despised by so many. Her motherly heart must have pained for him. To be shown daily your sin by your sinless child.... my child shows me so much of my own sin.... how much more if I actually had Jesus living out his life in my presence!
Ok- so I have a lot more to say about all this and this is jumbled at best right now but wow.... how Big of a God we serve. What an amazing story that He has wooven! To become Flesh and endure such agony and to know before time that this would be the case. To create what you know would cause you pain yet love them enough to do just that. To seek glory for yourself knowing full well that those who worship you would do so so completely imperfectly yet sacrifing yourself......
Stopping myself cause my brain hurts.... more soon!